Is alienation a modern plague? The sudden death of beloved actor Matthew Perry has shocked his fans. He faced addiction, but also the disease that defines our time: isolation.
The loneliness of the world's best Friend
Is alienation a modern plague? The sudden death of beloved actor Matthew Perry has shocked his fans. He faced addiction, but also the disease that defines our time: isolation.
"I just go in cars and they take me places." That is how Matthew PerryAn American and Canadian actor, best known for playing Chandler Bing in the sitcom Friends. He died aged 54, in October 2023. summed up his life in an interview seven years ago. A world away from how we might imagine celebrity. Certainly a world away from his most famous character, the funny, sarcastic, outgoing Chandler Bing.
But it had long been known that Perry had a darker life than his on-screen persona.
Fame and fortune were not enough to bring him happiness. He often said all he really wanted was to settle down with the right person. Instead, he spent his final years "sitting in a huge house, overlooking the ocean, with no one to share it with save a nurse, a soberSomeone who has not drunk any alcohol. companion and a gardener twice a week".
The star's sad fate has stirred something in many of his fans this week. They feel he is emblematic of a very modern problem: chronic loneliness.
Loneliness has been described as an epidemicA widespread disease or infection., capable of causing severe medical problems. It has been linked with heart disease, strokesA medical emergency that occurs when the blood supply to a part of the brain is cut off. They can cause lasting brain damage if not treated quickly. and dementiaA syndrome associated with memory loss and other declining brain functions. . Someone without enough connections in their life is at risk of roughly the same chance of premature death as a person who smokes 15 cigarettes a day.1
And it is hitting the young hardest. Around a quarter of 18-24-year-olds say they feel lonely most of the time and usually have no-one to talk to.2
This has been exacerbated by the cost of livingThe money that someone needs to afford basic food, housing and clothes. crisis. The average student on a maintenance loan in England has just 50p a week to live on after they have paid their rent.3 So many have had to take on part-time jobs to stay afloat. That means they do not have enough free time to spend with friends, because so much of it is taken up by work.4
This is a truly modern phenomenon. Just a few hundred years ago, "loneliness" had a very different meaning. To be "lonely" was to have ventured away from human society into the wilderness.
That meant loneliness was easy to fix: you just had to go back to other human beings. Communities were much more close-knit then and strangers were more comfortable with each other. It was even common for two travellers who had never met before to share a bed in an inn. There was no sense of being lonely whilst surrounded by people.
But today, loneliness does not mean being apart from others; it means feeling apart from others. We can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.
There are many reasons why things have changed, say historians. UrbanisationThe increase in the proportion of people living in towns and cities. It is predicted that by 2050 three billion people will live in cities. is one. In the past, most people lived in small communities or neighbourhoods where they knew everyone else. But today most people on Earth live in big, anonymous cities.5
Another reason is transienceThe state of constantly moving or changing. . The average person in the UK today will move house eight times in their life.6 That means they may not stay long enough in any single place to build strong ties with their neighbours, colleagues and other people around them.
These things are unlikely to change, say experts. But if we make a positive effort to build our relationships with others, we might be able to create a society where atomisationThe breaking of bonds or splitting of something into smaller groups. is not the norm.
<h5 class="wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper" id="question"><strong>Is alienation a modern plague?</strong></h5>
Yes: A cocktail of modern phenomena, from urbanisation to social mobility, has left us isolated from any community. All in all it is the biggest upheaval in human life since the invention of agriculture. No wonder it is causing problems.
No: There is no reason to believe people in the past felt less lonely than we do. We just talk more about it - ironically, because we are all more connected than ever, through social media.
Or... Loneliness might be a product of modernity, but that does not make it inevitable. We can do things to compensate for the effects of our modern lives on our mental health.
Matthew Perry - An American and Canadian actor, best known for playing Chandler Bing in the sitcom Friends. He died aged 54, in October 2023.
Sober - Someone who has not drunk any alcohol.
Epidemic - A widespread disease or infection.
Strokes - A medical emergency that occurs when the blood supply to a part of the brain is cut off. They can cause lasting brain damage if not treated quickly.
Dementia - A syndrome associated with memory loss and other declining brain functions.
Cost of living - The money that someone needs to afford basic food, housing and clothes.
Urbanisation - The increase in the proportion of people living in towns and cities. It is predicted that by 2050 three billion people will live in cities.
Transience - The state of constantly moving or changing.
Atomisation - The breaking of bonds or splitting of something into smaller groups.
The loneliness of the world’s best Friend

Glossary
Matthew Perry - An American and Canadian actor, best known for playing Chandler Bing in the sitcom Friends. He died aged 54, in October 2023.
Sober - Someone who has not drunk any alcohol.
Epidemic - A widespread disease or infection.
Strokes - A medical emergency that occurs when the blood supply to a part of the brain is cut off. They can cause lasting brain damage if not treated quickly.
Dementia - A syndrome associated with memory loss and other declining brain functions.
Cost of living - The money that someone needs to afford basic food, housing and clothes.
Urbanisation - The increase in the proportion of people living in towns and cities. It is predicted that by 2050 three billion people will live in cities.
Transience - The state of constantly moving or changing.
Atomisation - The breaking of bonds or splitting of something into smaller groups.