<h2 class="wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper">Alone, not lonely</h2>

The first Valentine's card on record was sent in the early 1400s by the Duke of Orleans, who was being held in the Tower of LondonA fortress in London, once used as a prison and now part of a museum homing the UK's crown jewels. after he was captured in the Battle of AgincourtA key battle in the Hundred Years' War between the English and the French. It was won by the English in 1415.. He wrote to his distant wife: "I am already sick of love/ My very gentle Valentine".

Some people today are also finding themselves sick of love on Valentine's Day, but in a very different way. Some 35% of the UK population is single and the figure is on the rise.¹ By 2039, nearly one in seven Britons could be living alone.²

All the signs are that many of us will be happier that way. Both men and women without a partner tell researchers they feel more free single. They have more time for themselves and can focus on their own goals.³

It is also getting more socially acceptable to lead a single life. More and more celebrities are choosing to live a single life - or, as Emma WatsonA British actress, best known for her role as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series. puts it, to be "self-partnered".

ParadoxicallyIn an apparently nonsensical or contradictory way., people who live alone can actually be less lonely than people in relationships. When people form a couple they often turn inwards and neglect their ties with others. Single people are more likely to have close ties with parents, siblings and friends.

Another factor behind the rise of the single life might be the proliferation of alternatives. Rather than tumbling straight into a relationship, you can first test the waters with a situationshipA slang term to describe a romantic relationship which is either complicated or not formally defined. .

Or there is the more expansive alternative of "ethical non-monogamyHaving a relationship with only one partner at a time. ". In the USA, fully 20% of people say they have been in a consensually non-monogamous relationship.⁴

On the more negative side, one reason why people are not settling down might be the cost. Raising a child in 2023 costs around £12,400 a year. Most young people do not have that kind of money, and if they cannot have children in the near future, they think, why be in a relationship?

But staying single is not all fun and games. As expensive as raising a family might be, it could still be cheaper than solo living. One investigation found a single person in Britain will have to spend around £10,640 more a year than an average couple.⁶

The gender imbalance is important too. In the USA, 60% of young men are single, compared with 30% of women.⁷

Experts say this is a good sign: it shows women are more financially independent than they were in the past and freer to make choices that make them happy, as well as pickier about their partners.

But not all men have adapted well to this change. Many have failed to replace romantic relationships with solid friendships. They report being lonely and dissatisfied with life. In extreme cases, some fall in with the incelShort for involuntary celibate, the mostly online subculture defines itself as people who are unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite wanting one. movement and the far rightA range of ideologies that emphasise social order, racial purity, and the elimination of opponents..

In the end, one size does not fit all. Some research suggests that individuals are hardwired to be either in a relationship or single. Those who are emotionally self-sufficient and those who are fixated on their career goals are likely to be happier single.

But others benefit from the emotional stability of a partner and feel their goals are best met together.

Is this a turning point?

Yes: The single population has been growing year on year for some time now. In future, most or even all of us will be eschewingDeliberately avoiding or giving up something. romance for the single life.

No: The majority of the population is still married, and there is reason to think the rise of the singletons is partly due to a dire economy. If the economy changes, things will go back to how they were.

Or... Until now, it has always been a social expectation to settle down and have a family. Now that has changed, the people who were less happy like that are taking advantage of their new freedom. But others will still choose romance.

Tower of London - A fortress in London, once used as a prison and now part of a museum homing the UK's crown jewels.

Battle of Agincourt - A key battle in the Hundred Years' War between the English and the French. It was won by the English in 1415.

Emma Watson - A British actress, best known for her role as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series.

Paradoxically - In an apparently nonsensical or contradictory way.

Situationship - A slang term to describe a romantic relationship which is either complicated or not formally defined.

Monogamy - Having a relationship with only one partner at a time.

Incel - Short for involuntary celibate, the mostly online subculture defines itself as people who are unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite wanting one.

Far right - A range of ideologies that emphasise social order, racial purity, and the elimination of opponents.

Eschewing - Deliberately avoiding or giving up something.