Chatter matters

How were your holidays? How did you celebrate the new year? When do you go back to school? Are you looking forward to spring? When are your exams?

You are probably sick of it. The festive season is full of goodwill, but it is also the season of small talk, when distant family members, friends and neighbours question you on all of the most boring details of your life.

You might be wondering what it is all for. Surely all of these strangers are not actually interested in your favourite subject, how your pets are or what you had for Christmas dinner. You are not alone.

University vice-chancellor Professor Katie Normington thinks that Covid is to blame for the spike in hostilityUnfriendly behaviour, or opposition. towards chitchat. According to her, new university students will need ice-breaking activities to stimulate small talk in tutorials.

"They were 15 to 16 when Covid hit," she says. "That's the age when you're out there testing boundaries and meeting people. This generation never had it."

And at Michigan State University's business school, lessons on interpersonalBetween people. communication have been made mandatoryCompulsory. amid concerns that the pandemic has created a generation of socially awkward young people.

Many say young people need lessons in oracy, or the ability to use spoken language effectively. "Our research shows that when students learn how to use talk to reason together, they become better at reasoning on their own," claims professor of education Neil Mercer.¹

Certainly, small talk does not have a lot of reverentFull of awe and admiration. fans. But many people have found beauty in its mundanity. The 20th Century philosopher Simone Weil wrote that "the poet produces the beautiful by fixing his attention on something real". For many, there is nothing more real or more touching than a brief exchange about the weather or work.

The novelist Jane Austen has been described as the "doyenneA woman who is the most senior and experienced member of a group. of conversation." In her books, what may seem like smalltalk conceals an intricateDetailed and complicated. underlayer of social tensions and hidden feelings.

But for others, small talk is an outdatedOld-fashioned. Not in keeping with the modern world. social tradition which privileges those with social skills over those with talent for the task. Perhaps, they say, we would be better off with a friendly silence.² "Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something," PlatoOne of the most important Ancient Greek philosophers.  once reportedly claimed.

Do we need lessons in small talk?

Yes: Small talk is an essential social and professional skill. People who lack this skill will perform worse at work and in their study and may feel isolated from others.

No: Small talk is a useless formality which we should get rid of entirely. It is boring, does not really help you to get to know anyone, and takes up too much time. 

Or... Small talk is a valuable thing, but it loses its beauty if it is taught. It is supposed to come naturally and should not feel like a chore.