Q & A

These words were all written and put on display at an art exhibition in New York City over the past year. Visitors were asked to describe both what made them anxious and what made them hopeful. The anonymous notes gradually began covering the walls of the gallery.

This week new psychological research suggests that we should not be so reluctant to admit our weaknesses. Showing flaws, it suggests, can make people more attractive, not less. Scientists are calling this "the beautiful mess effect".

As the author Brene Brown puts it in her book Daring Greatly: "We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us."

One major reason for this fear is the rise of perfectionism, which means the refusal of any standard short of perfect.

A study of thousands of American, Canadian and British university students found that between 1989 and 2016, self-oriented perfectionism (a desire to be perfect) rose by 10%. Socially prescribed perfectionism (wanting to live up to the expectations of others) rose by 33%. Other-oriented perfectionism (expecting others to be perfect) rose by 16%.

The authors of the study blame a society which is increasingly focused on "self-interest and competition". From social media to exams, "young people can be sifted, sorted and ranked by peers, teachers and employers".

"We live in a uniquely unsettled moment of technological, political, and social flux. Awash in endless currents of information delivered by glowing screens, each new headline, discovery, and development brings a fresh opportunity for hope or anxiety, depending upon our individual attitudes and philosophies," add the artists behind the exhibition, A Monument For The Anxious and Hopeful.

So is it time to start being more honest about our weaknesses? Maybe. But it has risks: studies also find that if we have a low opinion of someone, their vulnerabilities make us like them even less. How do you feel about your friends when you see them struggle? What about people you dislike?

And what of the upsides? The Sistine ChapelA room in the Vatican City whose ceiling is painted by the Renaissance artist Michelangelo.; the iPhone; Roger Federer's forehandHitting the ball by bringing your tennis racket across your body, palm first.. We would have none of these things without people who strive to achieve the perfect, even if they are doomed always to fall just a fraction short.

What do we know? Perfectionist tendencies (such as being self-critical and lack of self-compassion) are a strong predictor of mental health conditions like depression, anxiety and thinking about suicide. According to the World Health Organisation, record numbers of young people are struggling with mental illness. Being a perfectionist has also been linked to early death.

What do we not know? Why perfectionism and mental health problems are rising, or whether they have a direct connection with each other. (After all, not every perfectionist has a mental illness, or vice versa.) Social media, drugs, exams, capitalism and difficult family lives have all been blamed for rising mental health problems among young people, but there is no definitive answer.