Gender-reveal party craze comes under attack
Are gender-reveal parties morally wrong? We live in increasingly gender-fluid times, yet events to declare the sex of an unborn baby – with pink and blue smoke or cupcakes – are on the rise.
It’s the first question everyone asks after a new arrival: “Is it a boy or a girl?”
Some parents want to shout out the news to the whole world. And, now, many of them are — by posting their gender-reveal parties on social media.
At these parties, parents reveal (or even learn for themselves) whether the baby they are expecting is a boy or a girl. When the trend was in its infancy, couples settled for slicing into a cake with pink or blue filling, or releasing balloons from a box.
But parents-to-be are now trying to out-do one another with increasingly outrageous stunts.
Sometimes, it goes very wrong. This week, police in Australia’s Gold Coast released footage of a car bursting into flames at a gender-reveal party.
These incidents have got people questioning the whole idea of gender-reveal parties. “Reckless, pointless and bizarrely old-fashioned,” writes Zoe Williams in The Guardian.
One letter-writer to The New York Times recently caused a stir by declaring that she would boycott gender-reveal parties because “they perpetuate the stigma against non-binary genders”.
These parties draw a (blue or pink) line between the genders. Surely, this is morally wrong.
Sugar, spice and all things nice
Relax, says one point of view. These expectant parents are happy and excited. If you they have invited you to their party, then you are probably a close friend or relative. You definitely should not let the colour of a cupcake or little bit of blue smoke get in the way of your relationship.
Wait, says another point of view. These parties are (i) promoting the idea that gender is fixed in the womb, which it isn’t; (ii) reinforcing the idea that gender is binary, which it isn’t; (iii) foisting gendered expectations on children before they even enter the world, which is harmful.
- Are gender-reveal parties are good idea?
- Write a list of ten gender-neutral baby names.
Some People Say...
“A gender-equal society would be one where the word ‘gender’ does not exist: where everyone can be themselves.”Gloria Steinem, American feminist journalist
What do you think?
Q & A
- What do we know?
- Over one million posts on Instagram have been tagged #genderreveal. Gender reveals have become increasingly popular over the last 10 years, in line with the rise of social media. Most women who want to know their baby’s gender find out at their mid-pregnancy scan (usually between 16 to 20 weeks). Some blood tests can tell the sex much earlier.
- What do we not know?
- If gender reveals are here to stay. Social media trends come and go, but gender reveals have been growing for at least five years. It mirrors a trend for extravagant wedding proposals and baby showers shared on Instagram and Facebook.
- Sometimes, a sonographer (operating the scanning equipment) will tell the gender to a trusted family member or friend of the couple. This person will then organise the pink or blue reveal without the expectant parents’ knowledge.
- Early years; at the start.
- To keep going for a long time.
- Shame, or mark of disgrace.
- Identity that is not exclusively masculine or feminine.
- Gendered expectations
- Traditional, sexist ideas of what it means to be a girl or boy.