It was on the fifth day of the Olympic gymnastics at Tokyo that everything went wrong. Simone Biles was in the middle of a vault when she had an attack of "the twisties" - a mental block which makes gymnasts unable to tell where they are, and lose control of their bodies. She had no idea how she was going to land. It was, she says, "the craziest feeling ever".     

Although she completed her routine, she knew she had to withdraw. "My perspective has never changed so quickly from wanting to be on a podiumA small platform on which a person stands to be seen by an audience, as when making a speech, receiving a prize, or conducting an orchestra. to wanting to be able to go home, by myself, without any crutches," she explains in an interview for New York magazine. "It's so dangerous, it's basically life or death. It's a miracle I landed on my feet. If that was any other person, they would have gone out on a stretcherBiles attributes her unparalleled success in part to the fact that she has never suffered a major injury."

Her decision to back out of four finalsThe vault, uneven bars, floor and individual all-around. She won her bronze medal for the beam. rocked the world. Instead of the six golds she had been expected to win, she left Tokyo with one silver and one bronze. Her decision to focus on her mental health was applauded, though some accused her of buckling under pressure.

She compares her experience to going blind. "One morning, you wake up, you can't see... but people tell you to go on and do your daily job as if you still have your eyesight. You'd be lost, wouldn't you?"

Not that it happened out of the blue. Because of the pandemic, nothing felt right, her family could not be there; nor could the crowds she was used to. She felt nervous and, despite her coaches' help, unable to perform:

"I was not physically capable. Every avenue we tried, my body was like, 'Simone, chill. Sit down. We're not doing it.' And I've never experienced that."

She thinks she should have withdrawn from the US team before the Olympics. As the most successful gymnast ever, she was under pressure to fulfil the expectations.

She had already had to cope with a difficult childhood, brought up by her grandparentsBiles also spent some time in foster care.. She began training at age six, and later suffered abuse by the national team's doctor - an experience she had to relive when he was finally brought to justice and she gave evidenceTo the Senate Judiciary Committee. Because the FBI was slow to act on allegations against the doctor, Larry Nassar, he was able to abuse many more young athletes. about the FBI's mishandling of the case:

"Before we entered the room, I was in the back literally bawling my eyes out. And then, of course, you have to pull yourself together and go out there, be strong for just that moment."

She is now spending time with family and friends, and taking part in an exhibition tour. Of her decision to withdraw at Tokyo, she says: "Everybody asks, 'If you could go back, would you?' No: I wouldn't change anything, because everything happens for a reason. And I learned a lot about myself - courage, resilienceThe quality of toughness and flexibility that enables you to bounce back after setbacks., how to say no and speak up for yourself."

Yes. Particularly in an age of media scrutiny. Competing at Biles's level requires concentration, but fame means she faces distractions. She is called upon to promote her sport, make sponsorship appearances and give interviews; she can never lead an ordinary life. No wonder she has compared her withdrawal at Tokyo to jumping off a moving train.  

No. Fame makes life easier. Biles does not have to worry about money, enjoys the best coaching available and can spend as much time as she wants in the gym, while others have to take jobs to support themselves. She is welcome wherever she goes, and will have all kinds of opportunities when she retires - fame has put the world at her feet.