You will not see it in the headlines. It may not appear in the mainstream news at all. But in a week of big international events - COP27The 2022 United Nations Climate Change Conference, known as the Conference of the Parties (COP). , the US midterms, a Russian retreat - the most important story might have come from a New York court.

It is the result of a routine case. A Mr Anderson was married but lived with another man in a polyamorousHaving multiple romantic relationships at the same time, with everyone's knowledge. relationship. When Anderson died, the landlord said his unmarried partner could not stay.

Judge Karen May Bacdayan disagreed. She ruled that long-term unmarried partners should enjoy the same legal protection as married ones. And that Anderson's marriage did not affect the rights of his live-in partner.

Marriage is usually defined as a union between two people.¹ It is also a legal contract. By extending the legal rights of marriage to Anderson's unmarried partner, Bacdayan has tossed a stone at the idea that marriage is special. And by recognising his three-person relationship as valid, she has flung an even bigger one. Two may no longer be the magic number.

When historians write the story of the 21st Century, the switch from two-person relationship to three plus could be the most seismicOf enormous size or effect. of all. "The move to polyamory," writes Deseret News, "is a breathtaking change to the public understanding of modern marriage and can be expected to have significant consequences".

There are many indicators that the conventional idea of marriage is fading. According to one study, 39% of adults agree that "marriage is becoming obsoleteOutdated and no longer useful. ". In the UK, data for 2019 saw the rate of marriages between a man and a woman reach its lowest number since 1882.

On the other hand, a YouGov survey in 2020 of adults in the US found that, of those who are in a relationship, more than a quarter are non-monogamousOpenly having relationships with multiple people. . Another found that 41% of American millennialsPeople who reached adulthood in the early 21st Century. are interested in polyamory.

A vocal group has long attacked marriage. The radical philosopher William Godwin believed that marriage vows turn people into property, and should thus be abolished.² Godwin's son-in-law, the great RomanticAn artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement at its peak in Europe from 1800 to 1850. poet Percy Shelley, wrote that true love "withers under constraint: its very essence is liberty". Love cannot thrive when confined by the marriage contract.³

Modern supporters of polyamory have similar views. They say it gives the freedom to develop close relationships with many other people. In the UK around 50% of marriages end in divorce. Having multiple partners can free us from a miserable time with one.

Others point out, however, that marriage is still going strong in many parts of the world. Every year about 2.4 million Americans get married. Around 70% of respondents to a recent survey said that marriage is essential or important to living a fulfilling life.

Attempts to stamp out marriage have often failed. The Oneida Community, a religious group in 19th Century New York, aimed to eliminate all two-person relationships. The year after it collapsed, 70 members entered conventional marriages.

Yes: Oscar Wilde wrote in 1893: "One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." Changing habits, opinions and legal recognition is finally making Wilde's vision come to life.

No: Just look at the numbers. People may be less keen on the idea of marriage. But they keep getting married. If marriage is dying, it will be a slow decline that could easily be reversed.

Or... Marriage has never been just one thing. Societies adapt it to their purposes. In some cultures it is arranged. In others, polygynyWhen a man has more than one wife. is legal. Marriage is not dying. It is changing into something new.