Palms sweating. Face red with embarrassment. There are few things more embarrassing than forgetting somebody's name.

So imagine being friends with Hubert Blaine Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff Sr (abbreviated), a German-American typesetter with 27 names, including a 666-letter surname.¹

It is hard to envy such a mouthful of a name. But according to the Malaysian National Registration Department, it could be worse.

The government department has had to warn parents against giving children names with negative connotations, such as "Evil", or Gen AlphaPeople born between 2010 and 2025. slang words like "Skibidi", "Bodoh" and "Busuk" - which translate as smelly and stupid respectively - were also cautioned against.

Research suggests our names can guide us down particular paths, a phenomenon known as "nominative determinism". If you name your child evil, it is possible they will become evil.

For example, studies have shown that people living in the city of St Louis are more likely than average to be called "Louis". Others have found we are more likely to end up in a job which resembles our own name: dentists are disproportionately called Dennis or Denise, for example.²

Scientists call this "implicitSuggested or to be understood though not clearly or directly stated. egoism": a tendency to feel positively about things that resemble our own names. But others are not so convinced. They say there is no evidence that implicit egoism is really behind these results.

They argue what really matters is how other people perceive our names. Research has found when presented with two identical CVsShort for curriculum vitae, a Latin phrase meaning "course of life". A document setting out your education, skills and job history which you send to employers when you are looking for work. under two different names, one stereotypically White and the other stereotypically Black, employers are 50% more likely to call back the candidates with the White name.³

In the UK, applicants with Muslim names are three times less likely to be accepted for a job.⁴

Some institutions have tried to mitigate these effects by removing the names from people's applications. Since 2017, all UCASShort for the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service. Students applying for higher education in the UK apply through UCAS. applications have been name-blind.⁵

But our names might stop us from even getting that far. Research has found that teachers treat children differently depending on their names, disadvantaging those who have names linked with ethnic minorities or deemed to be of lower socioeconomic status.⁶

So rather than names influencing our path in life, they say, the real problem is that other people's attitudes towards our names can dictate the opportunities we get. 

But even this is not conclusive. A study from the 2000s found that regardless of external factors, people who disliked their given names tended to have poorer psychological adjustment, particularly lack of confidence. "The name becomes a symptom of the self," concluded the authors.⁷

You are certainly safer naming your child Emily, Olivia or Tom than Poverty, Salmonella or Disaster - no matter how appealing these words may sound.

Many ask: what is in a name? They say we should be able to name our children whatever we like. If we want to ensure people are not cursed by their name then we need to address the root problems of racism and classism.

And if you want to name your child something creative, why shouldn't you? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Do names change your character?

Yes: Studies show that our names decide where we go to university, what profession we pursue and which friends we make. It is, as it turns out, all in a name.

No: Our character is determined by socioeconomic circumstances, ethnic background, and other social factors. It is just that these things also influence what name our parents give us: it is correlation, not causation.

Or... This is a chicken and egg question. Our start in life may be decided by our background above all else, but our names will continue to influence what opportunities we do and do not get.

Gen Alpha - People born between 2010 and 2025.

Implicit - Suggested or to be understood though not clearly or directly stated.

CVs - Short for curriculum vitae, a Latin phrase meaning "course of life". A document setting out your education, skills and job history which you send to employers when you are looking for work.

UCAS - Short for the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service. Students applying for higher education in the UK apply through UCAS.