Earlier that day, Lola went swimming with her dad. She had tickets to see Eagles of Death Metal at the Bataclan theatre, and was looking forward to it. Two days later, her parents identified her body. "She looked like she was asleep," remembers Georges, "and we wanted to wake her up."¹

Today is the anniversary of the deadliest attack in France since World War Two. Islamist terrorists opened fire in cafes and restaurants, blew themselves up outside a football stadium, and took hostages in the Bataclan. In total, 130 people were killed.

Seven attackers also died. One was Samy Amimour. His father, Azdyne, was "shocked, sad and angry" with his son. He had tried to steer him away from extremismHolding extreme political or religious ideas.. In 2017, he contacted Georges. He wanted to show him they were not a "family of terrorists."

They began a dialogue, which became a friendship. In 2020, they wrote a book together called We Still Have Words. "If there are words left," Georges says, "there is also hope." They visit offices, schools and prisons to teach about friendship and forgiveness.

Restorative justice brings victims and perpetratorsPeople who carried out harmful, illegal, or immoral acts. of crimes together. Over 40 countries have held "truth commissions" to move beyond a painful past, such as genocideThe annihilation of a people, either through killing of its members, or through the suppression of its culture. in Rwanda or apartheidA system of legally-enshrined racial discrimination and oppression which existed in South Africa from 1948 until the 1990s. It denied non-white South Africans basic human rights. in South Africa.² But can it stop the hatred?

Forgiveness can be radical. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ told his followers to "love your enemies" rather than seek revenge.³ This idea was key to non-violent resistance in the 20th Century. "Hate cannot drive out hate," preached Martin Luther King, "only love can do that."⁴

For over 30 years in Northern Ireland, Ian Paisley and Martin McGuinness fought on opposing sides of a bitter sectarianDenoting or concerning a sect or sects. divide. Paisley, a firebrandA person who is very passionate about something. theologian. McGuiness, an IRA commander.⁵ In 2007, they agreed to share power and soon became good friends. In government, they were known as the "chuckle brothers."⁶

Israeli Rami Elhanan and Palestinian Bassam Aramin belong to a club no one wants to join.⁷ The Parents Circle is for grieving families of victims. Rami and Bassam both lost daughters but now call each other "brother" and urge peace in the troubled region.

Talking about the current war in Gaza, Rami says: "We have the moral authority to tell people this is not the way." Bassam, who threw a grenade at Israeli soldiers when he was 17, wants to "create more bridges instead of more graves."

On 16 January 2004, four Israelis and four Palestinians reached the summitAn important meeting. of an icy peak in Antarctica. They named it the Mountain of Israeli-Palestinian Friendship. Muslims knelt in prayer, Israelis uncorked champagne. "This moment is so beautiful," said Ziad Darwish, whose brother had been killed by the Israeli army.⁸

In Paris, Georges Salines admits the friendship between two men will not change the world: "Sometimes it feels like trying to empty the sea with a spoon."

And other victims say they do not love or hate. Antoine Leiris lost his wife in the attacks.⁹ His message to her killers: "I won't give you the gift of hating you."

Yes: Nothing else will. All over the world, peace talks have ended cycles of violence. Only by sitting down with our enemies do we start to see them as people like us, who deserve love and forgiveness.

No: This is wishful thinking. There are so many conflicts today because people do not want to talk. It will not bring the dead back. And the desire for revenge is more powerful than for forgiveness.

Or... Talking can solve many problems, but you have to create the right conditions for it. Enemies must agree they have more to lose by fighting and more to gain by talking. This process can take decades.