Lying in bed watching television, with one hand in a packet of crisps and the other endlessly scrolling.

These are the characteristics of "goblin mode", the landslide winner of a public vote to name the Oxford English Dictionary word of the year.¹

For some, goblin mode is a rejection of the self-improvement trend of the early days of the pandemic. Two years on, millions are cancelling plans and putting on their pyjamas.²

"It is cool to be a goblin," says author Cat Marnell. "Everyone is so perfect all the time online. It is good to get in touch with the strange little creature that lives inside you."

But now one gothic expert says there is a simple problem: people in goblin mode actually have very little in common with goblins. Moreover, goblins - defined by the Dictionary of Fairies as "evil and malicious spirits, usually small and grotesque" - do not make good role models.

"A goblin is seldom welcomed, even by its own kind," declares academic Sam GeorgeGeorge is a lecturer at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK. She is an expert on gothic and vampire literature. . A goblin would never sit at home. The most mischievous goblins play pranks, rearranging household items and banging on walls. Others, with more evil intent, lure unsuspecting victims to certain death.

There are exceptions. Puck, the hobgoblinThere are multiple types of goblin, from the Highland fuath to the French gobelin. Hobgoblins interact positively with humans.  in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, carries out tasks for humans. The goblins who run Gringotts Bank in the Harry Potter universe are silversmiths. But in general, goblins are troublemakers.

George has an alternative suggestion: vampire mode.

Vampires have undergone a transformation in popular culture. They are cursed with souls, like Angel in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or refuse to drink human blood for ethical reasons, like the sparkling Cullen family in the Twilight franchise. Unlike goblins, vampires are aspirational.

"The problem is that once you go goblin, it's hard to go back," says writer Rebecca Reid. "Goblin begetsA verb meaning to cause or bring about.  more goblin, and before you know it, you're in full recluse mode."

For George, the solution is obvious: "It's time we stopped languishing like goblins and started flourishing as newly born vampires."

Not everyone agrees. In 2009, the Vatican condemned the Twilight saga, calling vampires a poor role model for Catholics.

But for social media users today, there is a choice to make: slobbing out and giving up like a goblin - or sparkling outdoors post-lockdown like a pop culture vampire hero.

Yes: It is better to get up and go out like today's teen vampire heroes than to lie indoors. Vampire mode is not about drinking blood or sleeping in coffins. It is about embracing what life has to offer.

No: There is nothing wrong with goblin mode, as long as it is in moderation. People today face constant pressure to be successful and active. But we all need time to rest and recharge.

Or... Both terms are fundamentally meaningless. People in goblin mode are not really acting like goblins. And until they grow pointy teeth, people in vampire mode are not really acting like vampires.