"What's this?" Maggie asks with an amused smile. Her flatmate, Birdy, has spent the last three and a half hours getting ready for a date. Now, among the piles of abandoned outfits, Maggie has spotted a neatly folded paper.

"It's a list of things I've got to talk about in case there are any awkward silences," Birdy replies. Maggie raises an eyebrow. "Council tax?" she asks incredulously. 

This is a scene from Everything I Know About Love, which airs this week on BBC One. 

The show is an adaptation of agony auntA person, usually a woman, who answers letters in an advice column. Alderton gives advice to people about online dating in the Sunday Times magazine.  Dolly Alderton's bestselling memoir about modern-day friendship, dating, love and heartbreak. 

The book, published in 2018, was an instant hit. Dozens of readers wrote to Alderton to share their experiences of anxiety, insecurity and dating failures. 

Now, the author believes there is only one thing to blame for these tales of woe: dating apps. 

Alderton was 27 when TinderAs of 2021, dating app Tinder had recorded 65 billion matches worldwide.  and Hinge launched in 2012. "I feel lucky to be a millennial that dated before apps," she says. Suddenly, the men she met were more interested in looking at a screen than engaging in conversation. 

For many users, online dating can feel more like a minefield than fun. First, there are the profiles - distorted snapshots of reality with only a few seconds to say yes or no to the potential match. "That step is the first strike against authenticity," says writer Danielle Kilburn. 

Then there is messaging. Ghosting, where one person suddenly cuts off contact without explanation, is common. 

"The process of testing out potential mates, and of being tested by them in turn, can be gruelling, bewildering, humiliating," summarises journalist Alexandra Schwartz.

The philosopher Friedrich NietzscheA German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture (1844 - 1900), who became one of the most influential of all modern thinkers. died in 1900, long before people were swiping through profiles. But Skye Cleary, a lecturer at Columbia University, believes his writings can still teach us about modern love. 

Nietzsche believed that romantic love is frivolous. Passion dissolves over time. Instead, friendship and intellectual attraction are the best foundation for long-term relationships. 

But on apps, where meetings are based on self-created profiles and snapshot judgements, this can be hard to find, Cleary writes. 

Yet not everyone has given up on finding love via dating apps. Studies show that online dating gives some groups, such as middle-aged and LGBTQ+ people, more opportunities to find partners than in real life. 

According to one 2018 study, around half of all 16 to 34-year olds in the UK use dating apps. And more than a quarter of those who used the apps said they led to a long-term relationship or even marriageSome studies suggest that couples who meet online are slightly less likely to divorce. Others suggest the opposite..

Schwartz has no doubt: modern dating is hard. However, "it's also a way of discovering the self, of testing out different loves and different lives". 

These discoveries can be painful. For many, it is challenging to watch relationships falter and early dreams crumble. But Schwartz is certain: these experiences can be moments of learning too, and they should be celebrated.

Yes: Online dating means finding a real and lasting connection is near impossible. Apps encourage snap judgements and meaningless conversations. As Danielle Kilburn puts it, "Tinder killed true love".

No: It is too soon to give up on love. Millions of people have found successful relationships and even marriages through online dating. And even failed romances can still be worthwhile. 

Or...  Problems with dating are not unique to the modern world. Love and heartache have inspired some of the greatest works in history, from the novels of Jane Austen to Munch's The Scream.